It’s Father’s Day and my Facebook feed is filled to bursting with loving photo tributes to beautiful dads. I posted a photo myself, showing my beloved late father plus a current photo of my amazing husband Dan.
But what if that isn’t your story?
What if your memories not only of Dad but of other life highlights aren’t highlights at all?
What, indeed, if your life story, compared to others, seems like a colossal failure?
I know that reality, too.
Other people can sometimes seem so much more. More happy, wonderful, successful, accomplished, smart, strategic, rich, favored and more loved.
And I hate that relativistic comparing. It’s yucky, depressing, defeating.
Moreover, it’s wrong.
I know that first-hand because, at certain times, I’ve allowed such feelings to creep in, camp out and take permanent residence in my despairing head.
I try to blame my chosen profession. I’m a free-lance writer and author—surely one of the craziest vocations on the planet. It’s competitive. Maybe even ruthless.
But others always will write more, write better, earn more, be better.
In everybody’s life, of course, somebody else will always be farther along. More recognized, regarded and respected—plus have a great Dad, fabulous life and cool husband, too. (If you believe Facebook.)
Even so, during such moments, the thing to hold onto is this:
You are not a failure.
So stop saying it. More important, stop believing it.
Needing a reminder, I recently found this encouraging article by psychologist Deborah Schurman-Kauflin Ph.D., a columnist at psychologytoday.com. As she put it:
“Next time you catch yourself having negative self-thoughts, I want you to say the word ‘stop’ in your mind and remember that you are a beautiful person who deserves better than being called a failure. YOU DESERVE BETTER. Remember that.”
Having his own yucky-day moment, the psalmist David refocused his way out of such darkness by standing in the light of his worthiness in God:
For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well. (Psalm 139: 13-14)
Full well, then, we finally get it: how we see ourselves is about reflection, not looking in life’s mirror to see ourselves, but to see Him—the author and finisher of our faith, pointing us with love, acceptance and purpose back in the race.
So here’s some good news for the road.
You are not a failure. I’m not either. Together, let’s always see that.
Patricia Raybon is an award-winning author of books and essays on mountain-moving faith.
For more inspiration, see her 5-star rated One Year® God’s Great Blessings Devotional. Also see her new Beautiful Blessings from God, both available wherever books are sold.
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Photo credit: https://getstencil.com/